Derek And Gilbert
by Jamib Jones
Summary: What happens when Derek and Gilbert’s lives coincide, and who is Charlie Swan? Why is he seemingly stalking them? How did Derek and Gilbert meet? Will Derek and Gilbert pay the price for a relative’s homophobia? Will their love triumph?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer; we do not own Charlie Swan or Twilight, but we own Derek and Gilbert, and all other people affiliated with them, or all other characters in this story. And thus, they belong to us, and are copyrighted, meaning; you cannot have them!

Warnings; this story contains swearing, violence, consumption of alcohol, slash, death, homophobia, homosexuality, randomness, and brief rape.

Author notes; this is random and just for a laugh. If you don't like the information so far contained, leave now. This contains flash backs, flash backs will be identified, as will jumping back to the present.

Summary: What happens when Derek and Gilbert's lives coincide, and who is Charlie Swan? Why is he seemingly stalking them? How did Derek and Gilbert meet? Will Derek and Gilbert pay the price for a relative's homophobia? Will their love triumph?

_Present day._

"What the hell did you do that for? You know I hate him!" Gilbert cried. "He's your brother and I didn't do it intentionally; I just sort of let it slip that we were having a house warming party and he just kind of invited himself! It wasn't my fault!" Derek growled.  
"He's bloody homophobic, he chucked me out of the house, completely disowned me when I came out and stopped my parents from having any contact with me!" Gilbert shouted. Derek bit his lip and sighed, "What was I supposed to do?" he asked.  
"You were supposed to say no," Gilbert hissed, he went into their bedroom and locked the door. Derek sighed and leant against the door, resting his head on the cold wood. Derek could hear Gilbert sobbing and knew that he was responsible. For the first time since they had been together, Derek began to cry.  
This triggered memories of how both men met and the events that followed afterwards.

_Flash back_

It was a Tuesday, a seemingly average Tuesday afternoon. Derek was stressed, he was single, and confused about his sexuality and felt that he had accomplished nothing through out his life or his entire existence.

Gilbert too was single, but he knew that he was gay. He felt lonely, very lonely; he could not go to his family as they frowned upon his homosexuality and disowned him when he first 'came out'. Gilbert wandered to the near by coffee shop, he wasn't paying attention whilst he was walking. Derek and Gilbert suddenly bumped into each other, resulting in both of them falling down. "Oops, sorry," Derek said as he jumped up and pulled Gilbert up. "Thanks, its fine." Gilbert replied. Both men looked at each other properly for the first time.  
Gilbert's eyes widened slightly upon seeing the beautiful man in front of him. Derek felt his mouth go dry upon noticing Gilbert's boyish features, he cleared his throat.  
"I'm Derek," Derek informed. "Gilbert," The other man replied. The men shook hands. Derek acted impulsively, "So, want to get a coffee?" he asked. Gilbert smiled, "I'd love to," he responded.

Yay, first chapter's done. The next chapter should be longer, our chapters vary in length. Most of Chapter two will also be flash backs, or maybe all of it.


	2. Chapter 2

Derek held the coffee shop door open for Gilbert, who smiled appreciatively whilst stepping through. Both men sat at the table, sharing the occasional glance from one another. Gilbert sighed; he started feeling erotically charged as inappropriate thoughts involving Derek entered his mind. Gilbert started blushing and subconsciously looked at the floor. "Coffee," a waitress said, placing two cups on the table. "So," Derek began, "What do you do for a living?" Gilbert opened his mouth, ready to reply when he noticed something in his coffee cup. He frowned, looking down at it. "What's that?" Derek asked, glancing at the black hairy thing floating in Gilbert's coffee.

Suddenly, Gilbert's coffee began to ripple and a big face emerged from the hairy thing, which appeared to be a moustache. The moustached face squeezed an arm out of the cup and suddenly held a hand out to Derek and Gilbert, "Detective Charlie Swan. I'm sort of stuck." He said. Gilbert and Derek were rather shocked. Gilbert frowned, "How weird… not drinking that coffee now," he said, he picked up the coffee cup that had Charlie's head and arm sticking out of and chucked it at the wall, breaking it and freeing Charlie. "Ouch!" Charlie cried. Derek laughed, "So, wanna come back to mine for a coffee?" he asked. Gilbert smiled and nodded, "Thank you, that would be lovely," he replied.

The men made their way to Derek's house, discussing the strange events that took place in the coffee shop. "Funny stuff," Derek commented. "So, here's my house, shoes off," Derek then ordered. "Let me take your coat too," said Derek, pulling the material clinging to Gilbert's shoulders. "If you wanted to undress me, you only had to ask," Gilbert said, "Quit the foreplay," he added. "You're a kinky little bugger, aren't you?" Derek asked jokily. "You love it," Gilbert said, testing Derek's willpower. "As do you," Derek said, grinning widely. Both men made eye contact, arousing thoughts entering minds and making overwhelming desires.

Derek chuckled, "so, still want that coffee?" he asked. Gilbert nodded gratefully, "Yeah. Please. I just hope that guy doesn't pop out again," he replied. The older man nodded, "Yeah. That was weird. Come on then," he said and began to lead Gilbert to his kitchen. They soon arrived and Derek ushered Gilbert inside, "So, how do you like your coffee?" Derek asked, fetching two mugs and boiling the kettle. "Strong," Gilbert laughed. Derek smirked, "Me too, how strange," he said as he began to make the coffee. Gilbert smiled, "We have a lot in common," he replied. Derek nodded and handed Gilbert a cup of now finished coffee. Gilbert took it gratefully, "Thanks," he said, taking a sip, "Wow, good coffee," Gilbert said. Derek chuckled, "Thank you," He replied. Gilbert nodded, "So…" he began, but paused, staring at the sink. Derek frowned, he looked over at the sink and discovered why Gilbert was staring; Chief Charlie Swan's head was poking out of the plughole.

AN: Okay, maybe not.. it seems longer, on paper, anyway. Like I said, they vary. There's Charlie. Yay.


	3. Chapter 3

"Have you seen Bella anywhere around here?" Charlie asked. "No, piss off please," Derek said angrily, before turning on the hot-tap at full power in order to cause Charlie to feel pain and depart. Both men sighed; their day together kept getting interrupted. "Would you like a glass of wine?" Derek offered generously. Gilbert grinned, "If you want me, you don't have to get me drunk." Derek gasped and slapped Gilbert playfully, grinning, "You just can't help yourself, can you?" "Nope," Gilbert admitted, both men chuckled. "Cheeky," Derek mumbled, "Can you get the wine out of the fridge? I'm going to get some glasses." "Sure, sure," Gilbert mumbled as Derek walked away. As Gilbert opened the fridge door, he smelt the most beautiful smell; it was sweet and made his mouth water. The smell was coming from an over sized clear bowl. Gilbert picked it up and smelt it, "What's in the bowl?" he shouted to Derek in the other room. "Cookie Dough," Derek replied, entering the room with two glasses.

Gilbert grinned, "Wow!" he said. Derek chuckled, "You like Cookie Dough?" he asked. Gilbert nodded, "Yup, Doughy, I do," he replied. Derek raised an eyebrow, "Doughy?" he repeated. Gilbert nodded seriously, "You make cookie dough, you have cookie dough, you like cookie dough and thus; you are doughy," he replied. Derek chuckled, "I see the logic," he replied, as he poured to the wine into two glasses. Derek handed one to Gilbert once he was done. Gilbert smiled, "Thanks, Doughy," he said. Derek chuckled once more, "I need to give you a nickname now," he said. Gilbert smirked, he sipped the wine, "Good wine," he commented. Derek laughed, "Thanks. Now, do you want to go into the living room?" he responded, "Sure, sure, lead the way," Gilbert replied. Derek led Gilbert into the living room; "sit down," he said, as he, himself, sat. Gilbert sat opposite him. "So," Derek began, "How old are you?" he asked. Gilbert raised an amused eyebrow, "I'm twenty-four, you?" he replied. "Thirty," Derek said. Gilbert nodded. "So, where are you from?" Derek asked him. "I'm originally from London, but I moved here when I was seventeen, you?" Gilbert asked. "I've lived here, all my life," Derek said, sipping at his wine. "I see," Gilbert laughed. Derek snickered, "So, I'll ask again, as I didn't get an answer earlier; what do you do?" he queried. Gilbert smiled, "I'm a local singer, you?" he replied. Derek blinked. Wow. Oh, I work a bakery," he said.

"You fondle bread for a living?" Gilbert said jokingly. Derek pouted slightly, "I do not 'fondle' bread, I knead it." Gilbert raised an eyebrow, "Good with your hands are you?" he asked. Derek didn't answer; he simply looked downward. "You were supposed to say; 'like you wouldn't believe,' then to that, I would have replied 'we'll have to put that to test sometime.' It's like talking to myself, Gilbert said. "I'm sorry, it's just, this is a bit new for me," Derek paused, "I r-really like you," he continued. Gilbert smiled as in encouragingly as he was able to. "I had this weird dream last night," Gilbert explained, "where my right foot grew increasingly bigger than my left." Derek chuckled, "You're a bitty nutty, aren't you?" Gilbert nodded, "You betcha, I'm a nut all right," he agreed. Well, if your going to be calling me 'Doughy,' I am going to call you, on account of your nuttyness…pistachio!" Derek exclaimed. Gilbert grinned, "deal." "What can I be called?" Charlie Swan asked, poking his head round the door of the living room, where the two men were located. Derek considered, "You can be called…'get the fuck out of my house!' Now!"

Charlie Swan frowned, "How rude," he muttered, as he entered the room and sat in the armchair opposite Derek and Gilbert. Derek stared at him, astounded by his cheek, unable to yet find words, he rode from his seat and glared at Charlie, "Get out before I throw you out!" he demanded once he had semi recovered. Gilbert too stood. Charlie pouted, "How mean," he murmured. Derek growled, he raised his fist and crashed it towards Charlie's face, intending to punch him. But Derek's hand did not make contact with Charlie's face, for Charlie had caught Derek's hand in his own. Derek narrowed his eyes, "let go of my hand," he said. Gilbert scowled, "give him back his hand and leave!" he growled. Charlie ignored them both, and began to caress Derek's hand. Derek tried to pull away, but the detective's grip was strong. Gilbert grabbed Derek in a firm but gentle grip and pulled him free of Charlie Swan, he then pushed Charlie out the window. Derek smirked, "Thank you," he said. Gilbert nodded, "Your hand okay?" He asked, oh so tempted to take Derek's hand and rub it.

"It's fine," Derek reassured. "Cool, Cool," Gilbert mumbled, after a moment of silence. Both men glanced in each other's direction, locking their eyes into each other's. "More wine?" Derek hinted towards Gilbert's empty glass. "Sure, Sure," Gilbert said eagerly. Derek poured more of the alcoholic beverages into the glasses and both men drank large amounts to quench their thirst. As both men were nervous, and stuck for a topic of conversation, they simply continued to consume the alcohol. "Have you got anything stronger?" Gilbert asked, after the third glass of wine.

Derek nodded, "Whiskey?" he asked with a grin. Gilbert smiled in response, "Sure, sure," he replied. Derek laughed; he stood, "I'll be back in a second," he said, ruffling Gilbert's hair as he left to fetch the whiskey. Gilbert smiled, "Mess up my hair why don't you," he mumbled amused. Derek re-entered with a bottle of whiskey whilst Gilbert was attempting this task. Derek chuckled, "Need some help there?" he offered. Gilbert laughed, "No thanks," he replied. Derek smirked and sat beside him, and poured them both helpings of whiskey; he passed a glass to Gilbert. "Thanks," Gilbert said, as he took a sip. Derek nodded as he took a generous sip.

AN: Longer, woo, by the way, incase your still to dumb to figure, this is still with the flash back ness. And The Derek and Gilbert is set in a alternate universe, which is unnamed, as is the country, city, town, ectra.


	4. Chapter 4

Later.

A few hours passed and it was fair to say that both men were drunk out of their minds. "Another glass?" Derek offered to Gilbert, slurring his words drastically. "I'll have another glass if you can stand," Gilbert challenged in an equally drunk tone. "Shit," Derek shouted as he tripped over one of the whiskey left carelessly on the floor. He lay on the floor amongst the bottles and made no effort or attempt at moving. "You can't even walk in a straight line," Gilbert teased mockingly. "I'll bet you can't either," Derek said, glaring up at Gilbert from where he was located on the floor. Gilbert pouted, before putting weight on his feet and standing, only to loose his balance and land directly on top of Derek. "Well, Well," Derek began, "I know you want me, but your coming on a bit strong," he joked, laughing. "If you want me, you only had to-" Gilbert silenced Derek by pressing his lips on to Derek's mouth.

Derek was surprised; responded to the kiss and acted by pure instinct, easing Gilbert's lips apart and inserting his tongue. First it started off gentle, and slow, it was just the two men exploring and caressing. That all changed when Gilbert roughly bit Derek's lower lip, drawing a moan from the older man. Derek kissed Gilbert harder, harsher. Gilbert groaned a little and copied the actions. The kiss soon became a dance of kissing, probing, biting, nipping, passion and moaning. Gilbert's hands began to wander the length of Derek's body, slow and teasing. Derek's breath quickened slightly, he broke the kiss, needing air. After drawing in a single breath, Derek crashed his lips down on Gilbert's; his hands too began to roam Gilbert's body. Gilbert moaned and kissed Derek back fiercely, his hands stopped wandering Derek's body and went to his hair.

Gilbert then tightened his grip, grabbing fistfuls of Derek's hair between his fingers. Derek cringed at the pain slightly but did not try to prevent Gilbert's actions due to the fact that the pain made him feel sexually aroused. Gilbert pulled his lips separate from Derek's and spent time kissing his neck, parting his lips ever so slightly over his skin and tasting it using his tongue. Gilbert then licked Derek's neck, slowly letting his lips find their way to Derek's mouth again. Derek welcomed this kiss and hoped that it would progress to many, many things more.

Derek wrapped his arms around Gilbert's neck and deepened the kiss, pressing his lips more firmly against Gilbert's. Gilbert broke the kiss, "First time?" he asked. Derek nodded sheepishly. "Doesn't seem like it," Gilbert said, before crashing his lips down on Derek's. Derek moaned and Gilbert took this opportunity to thrust his tongue into Derek's men. The two men's tongue's clashes, battled and fought for dominance. Gilbert trailed his hand down Derek's neck and Gilbert moved a hand down to cup Derek's arse. Both men knew they were hard, they knew they need more. The men continued to kiss; it became harder, filled with need and lust. Gilbert slowly began to undo Derek's shirt, but soon got frustrated; he ripped open Derek's shirt and buttons scattered across the room. Derek broke the kiss and moved his mouth to Gilbert's neck, where he began to kiss and suck the flesh. Gilbert moaned, he also moved his mouth, down onto Derek's chest, he slowly began to bit and kiss along Derek's chest. Derek gasped at the teasing actions, but continued his assault on Gilbert's neck. Derek then unbuttoned Gilbert's shirt. He raised his eyebrows, "I'm impressed," Derek said seductively. Gilbert pushed his thumb into the side of Derek's trousers and proceeded to slide his hand downwards, aiming for his erection. Derek began to press into Gilbert's body, needing to be closer to him.

Derek wanted to give Gilbert pleasure too; he dipped his head down and began sucking, licking and biting Gilbert's left nipple. Gilbert moaned, pausing his assault on Derek. Derek continued to tease Gilbert's left nipple with his mouth until it was a hardened pink nub. The older man then moved his mouth to Gilbert's right nipple, and repeated his previous actions until the other nipple was in the same condition. Derek then began to lick his way down Gilbert's chest. Derek thought Gilbert tasted rather nice. Gilbert half closed his eyes and pulled off Derek's shirt.


End file.
